Capturing Hikachu
by harunekonya
Summary: Complete crack. Oneshot. Hikachu is a rare and desirable Pokemon, and Ogata uses his Oddkira to try and capture it.


**Author's Notes: **As a general rule I don't tend to write crack!fics, but this was too tempting, especially when I saw the pics that first got this going. This was mainly in response to a flamer who accused me of writing a Hikaru/Pokemon crossover without reading the actual storyline. Well, to put it mildly, if I wanted to write that, I'd really write it. Here's the result.

And I laugh at anyone who thinks either Hikago or Pokemon is mine.

**Capturing Hikachu**

_Hikachu: The Running Pokemon_

_The Hikachu is a rare and shy Pokemon with the ability to run away at startling speeds that can reach up to 200 mph. Its speed is believed to both be a defense mechanism as well as a means of attracting its mate, Oddkira. In the wild Oddkira and Hikachu are rarely seen without the other, and is one of two pairs of species of Pokemon to do inter-species mating. An intelligent Pokemon, its specialty involves luring its opponent into complacency before striking the final blow. Although the reason is not known, the Hikachu is also greatly attracted to ramen, and will do just about anything to obtain it._

_Its moves include Quick Attack, Flit, and its specialty move: False Safety._

Ogata closed his Pokedex while taking another look at the fuzzy yellow creature hiding behind a tree. It hadn't run away yet. So far so good. Normally Ogata would have pulled out his most powerful Pokemon immediately—he personally favored Psychic—but Hikachu's speed was so fast that any hint of danger would send the shy little creature scurrying miles away, which would be a total waste of the effort and the many all-nighters spent tracking it down.

No, if he wanted to capture Hikachu and add it to his immense collection, he had to be crafty, and thankfully he had just the thing to lure it in. The lure, a gift from his mentor Master Pokemon Trainer Touya, was still currently in its Pokeball. Gently he placed the ball in the grass, taking care not to startle the Hikachu still peeking from behind the tree. The showy throw so favored by other Pokemon trainers would only be detrimental here.

By now Hikachu was growing increasingly curious, and Ogata was using this to his advantage. He made a show of carefully placing the Pokeball right where Hikachu could see it, all the while careful to do this _slowly_. One wrong move and it may decide that it wasn't worth it to stick around. He made a point of looking up as if to check the weather, but was in reality making sure that Hikachu was still there. It had come out behind the tree enough that its large, dewy, gray eyes were just barely visible behind a layer of long yellow fur.

Ogata was ready. As he stood up he murmured softly to the Pokeball lying innocently on the ground.

"Go Oddkira," he said.

Then he backed away slowly, and waited for the scene to unfold.

* * *

_Oddkira: The Stalking Pokemon_

_The Oddkira may resemble Oddish in looks, but is in fact a unique species all on its own. Though normally mild tempered, and shy, it also has an aggressive side. When triggered into aggressive mode, it will hunt down the object of its aggression until it either acquires it or defeats it completely. Pokeresearchers believe that this trait had evolved out of the necessity of attracting its flighty mate, the Hikachu. It can create various illusions to lure its target, and its minor Psychic ability allows it to successfully predict all possible moves._

_Its moves include: Stealth, Future Sight, and its specialty move: Lure_

When Oddkira first emerged from its Pokeball, what felt like an eternity of continued inaction by both Hikachu and Oddkira nearly made Ogata give up hope. Just as he was about to call Oddkira back, he became startled by a flash of yellow and black.

_Flit!_

As quick as its nickname, the Hikachu had made the first move, stopping mere millimeters away from Oddkira's face.

"Hika?" it said, tilting its head from side to side. Before Oddkira could respond, it had moved again, disappearing and reappearing in a flash behind the other Pokemon, its fur quivering in excitement. "Hika!"

This seemed to trigger a response in Oddkira, which up until then had not made a single move.

"Kira," it said, calmly.

"Hika Hika Chu!"

For the next few minutes or so Ogata was made dizzy from trying to follow Hikachu as it sped across the grassy clearing in random zigzags. Oddkira however, appeared unaffected. It wasn't even bothering to follow Hikachu's haphazard moves, but remained patiently in place, as if waiting for the perfect opportunity.

Eventually Hikachu seemed to tire, for it slowed down, ears and tail drooping to stop again a few feet in front of Oddkira.

"Odd." In a tone of voice that could only be exasperation, Oddkira slowly made its way toward the other Pokemon. Ogata felt himself tensing in anticipation, his hands tightly gripping the special Pokeball he had brought along for just this purpose.

Then Hikachu surprised them both, startling Oddkira into falling by rushing away just as the other Pokemon was about to reach it.

"Hikachu!" it cried playfully, once again resuming its random flitting.

But Oddkira was not in the mood to play. Turquoise eyes glared at the bouncing yellow fluff with open impatience.

"Oddkira!"

Hikachu ignored the admonishment with ease. With endless energy it bounced from place to place, any remaining trace of shyness wiped cleanly away. Fear gripped Ogata as he saw it edging toward the trees. Was Hikachu going to make good its escape then?

Suddenly it froze, nose quivering, gray eyes opened to its fullest.

"Hikachu..."

Oddkira had unleashed its final move. It had somehow managed to create an illusion of a perfect steaming bowl of ramen, the steam so real that Ogata felt his mouth watering in spite of himself.

"Oddkira..." it coaxed.

Like a ghost, Hikachu seemed to float toward it, totally unaware of anything other than the bowl of ramen floating tantalizingly out of reach.

"Chu" it said dazily, no longer wholly in command of its faculties.

Realizing this was his chance, and perhaps the only chance he would ever get, Ogata edged toward the pair, Pokeball in hand. Oddkira too seemed mesmerized, for it didn't even notice Ogata when he finally stood over the pair.

Oddkira released its illusion. Hikachu froze again, this time in shock.

"Hi—!"

Ogata didn't wait for the Pokemon to finish its cry of indignation. He threw the Pokeball.

Within seconds Hikachu was transformed into a bright red light, and sucked into the Pokeball. Heart pounding, Ogata waited in anticipation while the button blinked red and blanked again. Would he finally capture the rare Pokemon? Could he?

It blinked once.

Twice.

Three times.

Then...nothing.

"Yes…!" Ogata breathed in deeply. Then out again. He had caught it, Hikachu. Picking the Pokeball up, he stared at the sphere in his hand as waves of adrenaline and joy flooded his system. From this day forward he was the proud owner of one of the rarest and most elusive of Pokemon. "You did well, Oddkira," he said, smiling, looking down at the Pokemon with its odd, straightly cut leaves.

But Oddkira didn't return the smile. Its eyes, glinting brightly, were hard and reproachful.

"_Oddkira_." There was menace behind the word.

"Ah, you want your mate, don't you?" Ogata said, realizing the reason for the anger. He had forgotten about Oddkira's possessiveness.

"Kira," it said, affirming Ogata's suspicions. The glare, if anything, deepened.

"You can join Hikachu if you want," Ogata told it. He held up the Pokeball, which at first glance looked like any ordinary Pokeball. There was one button, the top half red and the bottom half white like millions of other Pokeballs. Oddkira looked up obediently, but the hard glint did not disappear.

Then Ogata rotated it, revealing to an astonished Oddkira a second button.

"It's built for two," he said, smirking.

* * *

Almost overnight Ogata became a celebrity, being the only trainer thus far with both a Hikachu and Oddkira in his possession. The Pokeball containing them both now held a prized place on his shelf. There were times though, when Ogata could have sworn he saw it rock gently back and forth, followed by a pair high pitched squeaks. 

Sometimes it was necessary for a trainer to give his Pokemon a little privacy, Ogata decided.


End file.
